7 ways to stop a child’s tantrum
Probably, at least once in life, every parent faces childish hysteria. At this point, the child becomes completely out of control, screaming, crying, falling to the floor, knocking with his feet and hands, and there are cases when he hurts himself, starting to beat his head against the wall. How does a parent respond to this behavior? Punish, try to talk, do not pay attention? We are pleased to share with you the useful advice of psychologists.
Calm, only calm
Why does a child have such scenes? Just to achieve the desired. After all, often parents, in order to quickly stop the cry, attracting excessive attention to themselves, agree to buy / give / lead, if only to calm down quickly. Mutual cries, threats, and especially slaps definitely will not give the desired effect.
We propose to act differently. Here are 7 ways to help prevent this behavior and help your child in the process of an emotional explosion:
Understand the cause.Most often, "explosive" situations are repeated. Therefore, it is worth paying attention to and determining at what moments the child is most susceptible to hysteria. The most optimal course of action, when the cause is found and the situations are determined, is to act in advance.
For example, if a baby begins to scream and hang on his leg when he needs to leave the site, report the need to go home in advance so that he can finish his work. If you know that the reason is overwork and lack of sleep, you should plan things for the time of active wakefulness, and determine the optimal duration for this.
Do not ignore. Each time waving his hand and believing that "it is useless to explain", parents do worse to themselves and the child. The kid notes to himself that such actions do not cause any reaction, which means that it can be continued in the same spirit.
But even more difficult is the situation when a small person believes that such behavior is not enough for his mom or dad to hear him, and next time he will act even more thoughtfully.
It is important to recite the incident. If the child is already able to speak, find out what feelings he experienced,what made him do it. If not yet, then pronounce everything for him. Emotions need to be identified.
Behave the same way. Often parents say that the child behaves well at home, but if you appear with him in a public place, he will not manage without hysteria. Why is this happening? Because moms and dads themselves behave differently. To calmly talk at home and start scolding on the street (because “what will people think?”) Is extremely wrong. If you want your child to behave normally everywhere, stick to a single line of behavior everywhere.
To praise. This is one of the most effective ways to prevent horrible behavior. But praise must be correct. “You are behaving well, well done”, “you are obedient to mother, clever” - this is not enough. It is important to pronounce what the child did not at this time. For example, “today you didn’t shout and didn’t fight when we were in the toy store, great.” The more you notice such moments, and analyze them together, the less they will be in the future.
Empathize. Usually hysterics preceded by insult. You can stop the storm that has begun by sitting down next to the child, and explaining that you understand perfectly how offensive it is.After all, you yourself get upset when you are not getting what you want. Once again, explain the reason for refusing something, and arrange to remember or write down the child’s desire to fulfill it later.
Set clear boundaries.Often the parents themselves are to blame for the constant children's tantrums. And all because they did not set clear rules, and the child is constantly trying to establish his own instead. The rules should be divided into three zones - red, yellow and green.
For example, categorical “it is impossible” to go into the red - go on the road, let go of the parent’s hand in the crowd, pick unfamiliar berries and eat, etc. It is important to explain what this will lead to.
In the yellow zone are the rules that give the opportunity to choose. For example, in the afternoon, you should always eat dairy products, but what kind of baby chooses.
The green zone is the time of expanse. A child can play what and how he wants (of course, within reason), set his own rules of the game, etc. And the role of an adult here is an observer.
Make a “trap”. Negotiate with the child that from now on cope with anger will help a magical "trap". This is one of the easiest, but quite effective ways.To do this, you need to take a clean sheet and roll it into a fortune teller, before this writing actions on it that should help the child calm down. For example, jump, find something green, drink water, sing, breathe deeply, ask for help and parents.
Every time you go somewhere, it is important to take a "trap" with yourself, and as soon as emotions begin to "boil", offer a glimpse into the magic leaf.
Well, the last thing to remember for moms and dads is not a bad child, but his act. Therefore, it is important not to bend the stick, and in any case not to say "you are bad", "how could such a terrible child have been born to me," and so on in the same spirit. It is much more effective to try to understand all the pitfalls, and try to solve the problem together.
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