The secret to self control | Jonathan Bricker | TEDxRainier
How to Balance the Urge to Speak With the Necessity to Listen
Think about the number of people we meet everyday. When we interact with them do we always balance speaking with listening? Balancing between speaking and listening is very important in a discussion. First, ensure that you completely listen to the speaker. If you have some points to add, wait for the speaker to finish the talk and then state your point. In a discussion if you are someone who has the urge to interrupt the speaker then you should first identify the situations in which you might interrupt the speaker and find the right ways to do so.
If the speaker is repeating what he / she has already said then politely say, "Yes, I got what you said about ..." or "Yes, I understand ..." repeat the point stated by the speaker and ask "Have I got it right? Do you have any other suggestions?" then add your views. This shows that you have been listening and you have grasped the information.
If you are limited by time then ensure that you say this with a smile on your face, "Excuse me for interrupting, we are running out of time." or "I apologies for interrupting ..."
When you feel that the person is digressing from the topic then politely excuse yourself and say "We are digressing from the issue at hand ..." This brings more focus to the discussion and shows that you are listening and reasoning what has been said.
If you feel that the person is incompetent or is confused about the topic then you can say, "Excuse me, I would like to explain the situation once more so that everyone has a clear understanding on ..." once you finish with the explanation ask for clarifications before starting the discussion.
There could be many reasons why you might have the urge to interrupt the speaker but at least do it the right way by being polite and make a request to put forth your views with the help of words like, "Excuse me" or "May I please state my views on ..." and once your request has been accepted say "Thank you" then state your views don't just jump to talk.
Give opportunity for people to speak and remember to plan your talk to state your points clearly and precisely.
To ensure that you sound polite be aware of your tone, pitch and modulation when you interrupt.
Always acknowledge the speaker by saying, "Thank you" or "I get your concern" and so on.This shows that you have listened to the speaker keenly and understand their views.
Be aware of the nonverbal signals that you are sending.Use positive gestures, hand movements,facial expression and posture. The body language of the listener shows if he / she is actually listening or not.
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