How to develop a romantic relationship

how to develop a romantic relationshipDISCOVERING THE MYSTERY

Romance and passion are easy to understand, and as clear as you would expect. And this should be done in order to enjoy them and know what benefits they have. I do not agree with the point of view that romantic love is a mystery that no one can unravel. Love, supposedly, should not be analyzed, but felt. A similar theory tells us that we need to surrender to the power of romantic feelings and enjoy them until they are extinguished. As a rule, people who believe in this theory feel themselves absolutely helpless in the face of passion: they consider it impossible to resist it. But after falling into the power of passion, we make ourselves a lot of problems.


In fact, the essence of romantic love is not Bin Newton at all. It is quite possible to comprehend it, and this knowledge will help you build relationships. The essence of romance pondered, analyzed and researched a lot of reasonable people. I will not argue: the aura of secrets will always be surrounded by romance, passion and sex, making them even more attractive.As one of the parables says: “Three things are incomprehensible to me, and I do not understand four: the way of the eagle in the sky, the way of the serpent on the rock, the way of the ship in the middle of the sea, and the way of the man to the maiden” (Proverbs 30: 18-19).


Take, for example, situations in which two complete strangers meet with looks, and some kind of spark runs between them, a strong attraction arises. It happens, and it's real. To deny such an experience is meaningless. The region of romantic feelings, overshadowed by mystery, exists and gives us unspeakable pleasure. But, if you want to learn how to love truly, then keep in mind: “crazy love” and other romantic feelings can be controlled, and it must be done.


I will give a simple definition of love: this is a temporary idealization of a loved one, which enhances passion and sexual desire. Idealizing a person, for a while we begin to see only his positive qualities, closing his eyes to his shortcomings and even flaws. A man who has succumbed to romantic passion sees only good things in his beloved - a smile, a face, inherent only in her manners, tenderness, emotionality, strength, and a system of values. The list can be continued.Sometimes the lover sees even those qualities that are not in the object of his love, but which he passionately tries to see in him. This does not mean that he does not see reality at all or is inventing fables. If you ask him at the height of love: "Does your beloved have faults?" - then he certainly answers: "Of course there is." The period of love is not a departure from reality, but a time of focusing on the positive qualities of the love object. Speaking technically, this is part of the process of spiritual communication. The unique attraction that arises between two people has a number of distinctive features.


Romantic attraction focuses on the positive characteristics of the person - therefore, in essence it is positive. It is a pleasure, it charges with energy, it makes you feel the fullness of life. That is, it seems to work for itself. If you feel romantic feelings towards a person, then you want to talk with him, communicate. If everything goes well, then the romantic feelings intensify. With their intensification, communication becomes more intense, which in turn reinforces romantic feelings. And so on.Passion is strong and active.


But, like everything created by God, romantic feelings have a definite purpose. They connect a man and a woman. There is love, marriage is. All that is related to romance, gives us pleasure, and in the initial stages of communication, men and women perform a number of important functions. Romantic feelings help create a connection and attraction, which ideally should help lovers cope with the initial difficulties of establishing relationships. At the dawn of love, idealization creates the very foundation that later helps reconcile with reality. It turns out that romance is a kind of bridge: by the time conflicts and difficulties arise, the two will already have enough positive experience of emotional connection, enough positive joint memories, skills of caring for each other.

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