How to hide the excitement before intimacy
Where does fear come from
Fear is an acquired feeling. People are born almost devoid of this feeling. It arises later, in the process of acquiring one or another experience, as a reaction to certain events. Therefore, before you blame yourself for the timidity of intimacy, a person should analyze his previous experience in order to understand what he is actually afraid of. Fear has large eyes, perhaps the situation that took place in the past has long outlived itself and, therefore, the current fears are unfounded.
The main reason for fear of intimacy lies in self-doubt. Interestingly, contrary to the popular belief that this is an exclusively feminine “fad”, now more and more men tend to worry about their appearance. There is nothing surprising. It’s hard not to doubt yourself when polished beauties and beauties look from the TV screen, Internet pages, billboards from everywhere.The technique has reached incredible heights, with its help the creation of the illusion of an ideal appearance is a matter of several minutes. But the bottom line is that it really is just an illusion.
One may find fault with one's own shortcomings and try to imitate media stereotypes, but the bed is not a place for self-blame. If the relationship reached intimacy, it means that the partners, at least, carefully considered each other and what they saw, they liked and caused desire. It is a strong argument to believe that all doubts and fears at this stage of the relationship are unfounded.
Being in intimate intimacy, people can not help but feel the mood of each other. Excessive nervousness, fussiness and stiffness will be transmitted to the partner, who can accept these manifestations of uncertainty on his own account and is also unlikely to be able to relax. It is necessary to realize that, most likely, the partner is also experiencing anxiety and how to express themselves in the best possible way, takes him much more than the shortcomings of another person.
If logical arguments do not help overcome fear, psychologists are advised to deal with the problem not with logic, but with emotions, using the technique of presentation.The fact is that the human brain is not able to distinguish the events from the real ones. This means that a detailed visualization of the impending proximity will enable the mind to believe that this has already happened, which means there is nothing to be afraid of.
In fact, the struggle with excitement - is the fight against windmills. The more effort will be made to hide his timidity, the greater the likelihood that in the end fear will prevail and will not give the opportunity to enjoy each other. It is better to recognize your right to feelings, including excitement, because it is natural. Sexologists as one claim that emotional intimacy between people is the key to a successful intimate life. Sometimes timidity can be a signal that the partners have not yet reached the proper level of mutual understanding and trust. In this case, the rush can only harm.
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