🚫 WAYS TO GET SOMEONE TO LEAVE YOU ALONE 🚫
How to Make People Leave You Alone
Whether you're being harassed in a serious way and want to learn to make it stop, or you're just looking to grab a little alone time, you can learn to calmly and quickly make people leave you alone by confronting them the right way. Learn to deal with serious harassers, and to grab onto your solitude at home or in public.
Dealing With Harassment
Figure out what they want.If someone, or a group of people keeps bugging you, it's important to figure out what they're looking for, so you can figure out how to approach the situation. Learning to confront and deal with the person's expectations will end it more quickly.
- Bulliesare looking for a response, and take delight in getting a rise out of people to make themselves feel superior. If someone is looking for a reaction from you, stay calm, confront them, or get help if necessary. Avoiding the situation can just perpetuate the harassment and make it worse.
- Harassersmay be attracted to you. Even if their behavior seems annoying or cruel, it could be a sign of infatuation. It's important to avoid making excuses to get out of the situation, and confront these expectations honestly, getting back-up support from others. Tell harassers you're not interested, nothing will change that, and you'll contact the authorities if this behavior continues.
- Irritating peopleare often just socially awkward people, who might be annoying, but unaware. Being irritating might just be a sign that someone can't or doesn't recognize that you're feeling annoyed and would rather be left alone. Stay calm and communicate this to them to stop the behavior.
Stay calm.Whoever you're dealing with, you can stop the behavior more quickly if you're calm, cool, and collected. Remember, bullies want a reaction, and socially awkward people might be hurt inadvertently if you get very angry or upset with them.
- If bullies repeatedly fail to get a rise out of you, they'll get bored. This is how bullies operate. They'll quickly move on to someone they'll be able to get a reaction from.
- Dont' take it personally or let harassers make you feel guilty. If someone is bugging you, it's not something you asked for or deserve. Stay calm and address the problem.
Tell the person to stop what they're doing.In as even a tone of voice as possible, just say clearly, "Please stop." You don't need to say why you want them to stop
- If you feel like your'e being physically threatened, put a hand out in front of you, making a "stop" signal. Say, "Just stop, please."
Be honest, to a point.The best way to let people know you want to be left alone? Say so. To end most irritating behavior, all you've got to do is turn to the person who is bothering you, make eye contact, take a deep breath, and say in a calm, even voice, "Please stop doing that. You're bothering me."
- If someone keeps asking you for a date, and you're feeling harassed, it's important to be honest. Don't say, "I've got a partner" or "I'm busy on Friday" to get out of the situation quickly. Instead, say, "I'm not interested. Sorry."
- Don't tell bullies anything. If you say, "You're bothering me," or "This is really annoying," you're just confirming that they're getting the reaction they want. Ignore the behavior, stay calm, and say, "Stop please" if you must.
Document and report bullying or harassment.If someone is being more than annoying, don't try to take it on all by yourself, and don't let yourself be manipulated into a situation you won't be able to handle. It's very important to document any kind of harassment, bullying, or abuse, and report it to the proper authority.
- Get witnesses to in-person bullying, and keep any texts, e-mail, or other digital correspondence that suggests the harassment you're reporting.
- If this happens at school, tell your teacher, counsellor, or principal as soon as possible. At the workplace, tell your supervisor, or boss. At home, call the cops.
Treat minor irritations for what they are.In some cases, if someone keeps pushing your buttons, it's way easier to loosen up a bit instead of letting yourself get so annoyed. If your little brother is being a pill and won't stop asking you to play basketball, for example, it would be better to give him 15 minutes of hoop-shooting than to have to keep telling him "No" for the next two hours. Recognize when it would be easier to be the bigger person.
- Try bargaining. Say, "I'll play on one condition. I can do 15 minutes now, but then you've got to occupy yourself, ok? We can play more this weekend, but if you come bug me again today, I won't. Deal?" Make sure the person agrees to your terms, and stay firm with your rule.
- It's never easier to give in to bullies or harassers. If they attempt to negotiate "just one date," it won't end there. Negotiation should only apply to minor irritants, not to serious harassment.
Getting Privacy at Home
Just say you want to be alone.If your parents, siblings, children, or neighbors won't stop bugging you, the easiest way to nab some privacy is always to just say so. There's nothing rude about needing a little alone time, and as long as you say this as if it's normal, and not like you're irritated, most people will go along with it happily.
- Stop what you're doing, look at the person who is bugging you and say, "I need a little bit of alone time, ok? I'll talk to you soon."
- If you've got a guest who has overstayed their welcome, and you'd like to get them to leave, don't invent an elaborate excuse, just walk to the door and say, "Well, thanks for stopping by. Need some alone time now, if you don't mind. I'll see you soon."
Set a time limit or make plans.If you can't take the time to talk to someone, schedule it, or delay it for a time when you do have some free-time. In some cases, this is a much faster way to get out of a conversation and get someone to leave you alone. That way, you can decide when you want to socialize, and keep your alone time on your own terms.
- Say, "Hey, I'm interested in what you're saying and would love to help out, but I need a little bit of time to decompress before I'll be any use. Can we talk about this in two hours?"
- Don't be afraid to delay to tomorrow something that you don't have the time or energy for doing today. If you need alone time, you need alone time. Tell someone that you'll get back with them when you're ready.
- If you want to be really devious, tell someone to call you in two hours, then leave the phone off the hook. Make up a story later.
Read.Many people will instinctively leave people alone who are reading, and you can use a book as a great solitude prop. If they don't get the hint, it's still easy to look up quickly and say, "Shh, I'm reading please."
Keep your inbox full.If people can't get a hold of you, they can't bug you. If you want people to stop bugging you online, shut off your smartphone, tablet, computer, and other electronic devices that may easily give others access to you, or keep your inbox full to have a ready-made excuse. Without this access to social media, texting, or phone calls right at your fingertips, others will have a tough time connecting with you, and will get the hint in the future as well.
- If someone continually , block them, document the harassment, and report their account. Change your privacy settings to the strictest, if possible.
Invent a pressing activity if necessary.Some people won't take the hint, even if you make it explicit, and even if you're kind, and in some cases it is easiest and quickest to just make up a little white lie. Used correctly, it can work.
- Make sure that your lies are solitary activities. Nobody will be able to verify or accompany you if your excuse is that you have to take a shower and catch up on your email.
- Some people think elaborate excuses are kinder than the truth, but this can often have side-effects. If you say you've got to go to the store, your lingering neighbor might say, "Oh, I was just on my way there, let's go together!"
Just close the door.If people really aren't taking the hint, go to your room, shut the door, play some music or put headphones on, and grab that solitude by the horns. Put a sign on the door that says, "I'm fine, just need alone time. I'll come out at 6."
Being Unapproachable in Public
Wear headphones or earbuds.If you're locked into a podcast or some tunes, you've got a ready-made excuse for not having heard something someone said, and most people will take the hint, and won't even try. Even if you're not a big music fan, just wear headphones and listen to nothing. It works great as a prop.
Use closed body language.You can learn to look unapproachable by giving people the impression that you're closed off to communication.In general, the physical signs of "closed" body language that help to communicate a desire to be left alone include:
- Crossed arms
- Crossed legs
- Looking downward
- Avoiding eye contact
Look busy.If you look like you're completely immersed in an activity, people will leave you alone for the most part. Bring a book, a stack of papers, or pull out your phone, and put on a calculated scowl, to look like you're concentrating really hard.
- You can take this too far and elicit unwanted attention. Don't scowl so hard and make such hefty work sighs that the person next to you says, "What you got going on?"
Cut off conversation with one-word answers.If, despite your unapproachable nature, someone tries to approach you, you can cut most conversations off by being generally distant and un-socialable. Avoid making eye contact, keep your resting face blank, and use single-word responses, no matter how difficult the question.
- If someone says, "How you doing?" just say, "Fine." If someone says, "What you up to?" just say, "Nothing." If someone says, "Can I get you a drink?" just say, "No." This will get boring quickly, and you'll be alone again.
Look as "normal" as possible.Of course, you should dress however you want to dress, because the way you look and your appearance aren't code for being approachable or not approachable. You can, however, avoid unwanted attention by blending in with the crowd. If you're out in public wearing a beaver hat and a purple zoot suit, it's likely someone will want to talk to you. Just wear what everyone else is wearing, and you'll be practically invisible.
QuestionHow can I deal with people who don't care about my feelings?wikiHow ContributorCommunity AnswerThey are emotionless, and you should be too. Just remember that nothing they say is important. Reply with blank stares and disinterest. They will eventually move on.Thanks!
QuestionWhat if it's a teacher bothering me?wikiHow ContributorCommunity AnswerAsk yourself, "Is this teacher just trying to make sure I learn the material and complete the tasks he/she has set out for me?" If they're just trying to do their job, you have to live with it and do your best to do well in the class. If the teacher is doing something inappropriate or singling you out, talk to another teacher or a guidance counselor about this, or ask a parent to call the school.Thanks!
QuestionIs it okay for someone to refuse to leave me alone if I'm bothering someone else? If so, why?wikiHow ContributorCommunity AnswerTwo wrongs don't make a right, but if you'd simply leave the other person alone, you wouldn't be having this problem.Thanks!
QuestionWhy is it important for people to leave me alone?Top AnswererBeing alone is an essential part of mental health. It recharges the batteries, and you can be quiet and peaceful with no one chattering to you. The French have a saying, "reculer pour mieux sauter", which roughly translates to "back up for a better jump". If you have been alone for a while, human interaction becomes more meaningful. But if you meant "leave you alone" as in "do not harass me", well, that one's clear: it is impolite to bother people. We should all learn how to behave during human interaction so that our behavior does not bother the other. And if it's more than bothering, that's illegal.Thanks!
QuestionI don't have earbuds and my parents constantly make rude comments to me. It makes me so mad! If I tell them to stop they'll get mad, so please help.wikiHow ContributorCommunity AnswerListen to them, they may have something important to say. Humility is a virtue. If they keep hurting your feelings, calmly ask them to stop. Do not whine, or become too emotional, try to discuss it calmly. They will admire your maturity.Thanks!
- If they don't stop bothering you, just run away! If they see you run away, they might chase you!
- If someone is constantly bothering you, tell someone immediately. Don't wait for them to catch up to you or find you!
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