How to send sexts
It's often claimed that an avalanche of hypersexual media is making us more visually orientated. That’s debatable, but the notion that we have all become voyeurs makes sense in the modern world. If you can fantasise about it, somewhere on the internet you can watch it.
Most of us are so overworked that we’re too tired or wired to have sex with the regularity and intensity we want to. A bit of visual stimulation tides us over when we don’t have the energy to put out in person. But voyeurism needn’t be shorthand for second-rate sex. In the 21st century, it’s all about harnessing the power of the pornographic gaze and using the latest tech to enhance real-life sex.
Let’s begin with sexting – now an almost exclusively visual phenomenon. I’ve found a great cure for writer’s block is to take a graphic self-portrait and send it to an appreciative recipient. Of course, when you’re female, it gets boring sending yet another picture of your tits to the requestee, even when you’re a pleaser by nature. And since research shows women get just as turned on by the sight of naked flesh as men do, neglect to offer up your own snaps and you could be missing a trick.
Get a filthy picture rally going with your lover. It’s likely to result in further, more-explicit graphic returns since she’ll appreciate the fact you’re not just another picture collector. Make it playfully competitive and try to outdo each other with images. Start with a joke or something suggestive, then build up. Or send her a picture of herself and describe how it makes you feel.
Write your own script
If power games are more your thing, demand your co-communicator indulges exactly what you want to see. You can ask for anything – just be prepared to do the same. Oblige if she insists on a shirt-off selfie in the mirror (what else is the office shower room for on a Thursday afternoon?). If nothing else, it’s less intimidating than stripping in person.
Webcamming is another way to get an illicit thrill. Think of it as a peep show for the wireless generation. Take turns to play the lucky customer; when it’s yours, send her emails throughout the day leading up to the session to specify details about what you want from the ‘performance’. Demeanour, costume, props – they’re yours for the specification. And this is one of the safest ways to experiment: she may be more willing to try things out from the comfort of home than she is in front of you.
Enjoy the show
Use evenings and weekends for after-hours video calls, particularly effective if you’re in anything resembling a long-distance relationship. In fact, webcamming is worth a go even if you can drive over on a school night. One of you performs in the bedroom while the other is banished to watching the show online in the lounge. My California-based squeeze and I keep the passion going across the pond by having explicit mutual masturbation sessions. It certainly brings a new meaning to FaceTiming.
Three's a crowd
While exposure is the name of the game, that doesn’t mean you want the world to see what you and your partner are up to. Thankfully, privacy innovation is finally catching up with the way people are using technology. For example, most video-chat programmes don’t let you screen-grab (Apple’s FaceTime is one exception). Relay this to allay your screenmate’s fears that male friends could get a second viewing of her time on screen. Similarly, if you’re sending phone images, use an app called Snapchat (iOS, Android), which destroys the material after a few fleeting, teasing seconds – just in case you were worried your ex was posting your finest cock shots to cashmasters.com (yes, just what it sounds like).
You can of course extend the pervy periscope to other people’s bodies, although you’d be wise to do it through visual recall than with legally dubious video footage. There’s little I enjoy more than sharing a Facebook picture of a sexy new female acquaintance with a lover before I describe in detail the times I’ve seen her changing in front of me at the yoga studio.
Just remember, the new voyeurism is about bridging the gap between the real and the ideal. What you see might pique your desire. But only a partner can satisfy it.
Video: Teaching Kids To Send Sexts
How to Take Synthroid
Makeup Your Way To A Good Night’sSleep
Denim Brands Every Fashion Girl Should Know (and Shop)
How to Take Telephone Messages
Men In Miniskirts Protest For Women’s Rights In Turkey
Career Guide Series: Networking
The Secret To Looking Taller Without Heels
One-Piece Swimsuit Coverage and Sexiness Of A Two-Piece
How to Clean Brass Handles
Clot-Busters Might Be Useful for Previously Dependent Stroke Patients
How to Eat Healthy As a New Mom
How to Make the Perfect Risotto
Meghan Markle Cradling Her Baby Bump in Sydney Is So Cute
River Island Autumn 2012 Collection