How To Train Your Noob | A Fortnite Film

How to Train Your Dragon of Chronic Pain

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As most of you already know, I love children’s movies. Their plots are simple, their characters clearly evil or good, and they’re usually humorous. They are clever, beautifully colorful, and entertaining. There’s another reason I like them so much and often prefer them to adult films — they’re usually less depressing.

Sure, I know Bambi’s mother gets killed, someone is always orphaned, and evil doers cause trouble, but in the end, all is made right. Adult movies have, over the past few years, become very dark, morbid, and frankly, gruesome. You might as well watch the news if you want to be that depressed. I cannot figure out what’s entertaining about hatchets splitting skulls, guts spilling onto the floor, love betrayed, and the smarmy side of the drug world. If I wanted to see all that gore I’d go back to work as an RN. I need to be uplifted, don’t you?

One of the cutest and most clever films to come out for children in 2010 wasHow to Train Your Dragon. I thought it might be fun and enlightening to chat about how to train the dragon of chronic pain for each of us who need to slay that particularly vicious beast.

Step 1: Identify your dragon.This is war and if you’re going to do battle, you have to know what you’re fighting by diagnosis, symptoms, and ways of training it. So many of us mere mortals search for years to identify what is wrong. I saw many doctors before I found a tentative diagnosis 24 years ago. I knew my life had been torn asunder, something was breathing fire, and frankly, it hurt. A dragon is pretty difficult to ignore. They’re huge, they’re scary, and they can toast you like a marshmallow with one small blast of fire. I felt all of it. I was scared, my entire life was changed, and I was definitely roasted, toasted, and maimed.

This identification takes a physician who knows what he or she is doing, displays a certain amount of curiosity, and is caring. You — not your doctor — are the dragon slayer. Your physician is your teacher, your coach, and hopefully, your ally.

Step 2: Don’t be intimidated by this fire-breathing beast.Oh sure, you might be thinking, easy for you to say. Just remember, I have been through many battles, have the singe marks to prove it, and am still here to tell my tale. My sword is bloody, my dagger at the ready, and the longer I live with this beast the more I feel like a substantially intimidating Viking warrior. Hopefully, I smell a bit better and have more sanitary living conditions.

I can’t imagine going through my life without the conveniences of modern living like toilet paper, supermarkets, and food I don’t have to kill. You know, those Vikings didn’t even have washing machines and I hate to imagine what was living in those fur clothes they wore day after day. Sorry, I digress.

Now grab your shield, your courage, and your fortitude, and stand up and face this fire-breathing beast that has planted its considerable self into the middle of your life. Learn to know yourself. Know what hurts and where. Stick to your weapons when it comes to fighting this. As a fairly modern dragon slayer, Winston Churchill once said, “Never, never, never give up.”

Step 3: Go hunting.Gear up because you need all the help you can get. Put on the shield of knowledge by informing yourself about your disease, injury, or whatever is threatening to breathe fire onto you each day. Learn how to use all the weapons at your disposal. You may need a sharp tongue at times. You will most definitely need the gear to do battle and protect yourself. You may have to argue with a doctor or find another one. You may go through the fire of physical therapy or surgery in order to survive. You must tend to your strength, your muscles, and your daily habits as you become the best dragon slayer you can be. We modern day Vikings have to be courageous, tough, and often, ruthless. If you don’t fight back, you will become dragon barbecue, definitely without the sauce. Don’t you love your own life, your family, and your ambitions enough to gear up and do battle?

Step 4: Learn to love your dragon.Just think about the largest dog you’ve ever seen and imagine him with scales, wings, a tail, and the ability to blast you with fire. I’m not even going to mention the “refuse” left in the backyard if you get it to go out there. Just remember this monster is bigger than you and definitely more powerful, especially if you just lie there. Learning to love your particular malady, or dragon, does not come easily, but if it’s going to live with you forever, you must at least make friends with it. Maybe you can’t take it as far as “love,” but if you continue to hate this misery, like any hatred, it will destroy you. Accept it and find out what you can do to protect yourself and get along with this huge invasive beast that has entered your life.

You might be greatly surprised because this beast, if you’re stuck with him, may take you on the ride of your life. Hold onto the reins, wear protective gear, pat your new companion on his scales, and try to keep your tush from getting fried. Look forward, not back. Stop mourning your life as it used to be. Stop wasting time on anger and self-pity, and get on with it. Jump on that dragon and see where it takes you. It’s here and it’s not going away. Try to enjoy the view because the view is up to you and where you choose to go.

Last Updated:3/10/2011
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Date: 19.12.2018, 06:09 / Views: 43552